To Seek the Lost and Lonely

On some days when I would arrive at the Long Beach office of our family construction company, which I helped my dad run, I would find him to be in an absolute tizzy, frantically hunting for his hearing-aids he had misplaced.  Sometimes we would spend the first hour or so of my day there hunting.  Nothing but nothing could happen until they were found.

It’s the same with my keys or sometimes my glasses if I have taken them off during the day.  We all know that obsession that can only be ended with eureka, I’ve found it.  Finally!

In the book of Exodus Moses is told to get his butt down the mountain muy pronto.  The people he led out of Egyptian slavery have yielded to a new slavery.  Every bit as pernicious and soul-sucking — a golden calf.

This idol will only subject them to the theocrats who set it up.  It will not get them to any promised land.  They’ve lost their way.  Destruction will be the end result.  And God’s going to lower the boom – which will only be the logical consequences of such a disastrous choice.

Moses arrives on the scene at the critical moment.  He reminds the people of how far they’ve come from slavery.  He recalls the improbable and mighty acts of God that got them thus far.  He pleads with God.  And God’s mind is changed.

Like those nomads Moses led, we in America have lost our way.  The signs are as obvious and as bright as a golden calf.

Who will intercede for us who have lost the true way?  Who will help us recall the glorious moments of our journey that got us thus far?  Will we listen?

That is a key question:  will we listen?  Will we attend to the looming danger?

In a recent issue of The Economist, there was an article on the mental health of our youth.[1]  In longitudinal studies of well-being, previous generations pointed to experiencing significant despair in their 40s and 50s.  Gen Z reports even higher levels of despair in their early 20s.

There seem to be multiple factors involved.  Especially, among the less educated, work no longer provides the protective effect against poor mental health.  My suspicion is that this is in part due to the transient nature of employment and the decline in union membership which provided essential face-to-face solidarity and support.  I remember going to union picnics with friends whose fathers were union members.  The comradery was palpable.  Not so today.  Without unions a strong ingredient of social cohesion is missing – from picnics, to bowling leagues to meetings at the union hall.

Another factor in poor sense of well-being is social media and cellphones.  Many of our young people have lost their way.  Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, in a new and definitive book on the psyche of our young people, documents the anxiety and depression of this new generation.[2]

One reviewer writes, “Jonathan Haidt is a modern-day prophet, disguised as a psychologist.  In this book he’s back to warn us of the dangers of a phone-based childhood…”  So says Susan Cain, the bestselling author of Bittersweet and Quiet.[3] A prophet indeed.  A prophet we ignore to this generation’s peril.

He lays out the addictive aspect to the mathematical algorithms that suck in the users of social media.  He describes in painful detail the battle royale that ensues in many families around these smartphones.

These devices can be deadly – this is not hyperbole.  The other day I saw a pedestrian almost run over in a parking lot while totally immersed in his cellphone.  Not aware of his surroundings at all, weaving his way through traffic.  I was tempted to yell out the window, “Hey, mister, when you get killed, can I have your phone?”

More pernicious than a traffic accident is what social media has done to our face-to-face support systems.  Like the family, like school, like faith communities.  In ways, large and small, we have lost our way.

Think back to your childhood.  The most exciting memories were of times you spent outdoors with your friends.  Even those times that were a bit risky.

When in the sixth grade I got a new bicycle, a 10-speed racer, an entirely new world opened up.  Of course, the first thing we were told was, don’t go to far.  Stay right around the neighborhood or just bike to school.  Especially my folks didn’t want me peddling to the Pike in downtown Long Beach. 

And of course, where was one of the first places I and my buddies went on a bright Saturday morning?  To the Pike.

The Pike with its vast assortment of carnival rides and game booths was a notorious destination in WWII for sailors on shore-leave.  It had, at best, a tawdry reputation with flim-flam men and ladies of the evening and other assorted scammers and pickpockets.  No, you don’t want your kid down there.

By the time we biked down there it had been cleaned up quite a bit, but still had that bad reputation, especially among our parents.  Definitely off limits for us young boys.

Much of that outdoors adventure has evaporated for many of our teenagers.  Their souls are sucked into some damned electronic device.  They think they have lots of friends on Facebook, yet in reality these are just acquaintances to pass away the hours with trivia.  No face-to-face contact, the essential ingredient of what makes us human, what builds community.

We are all on journey, our nation is on a journey.  Not unlike that of the people Moses led.  Such adventures are fraught with danger as well as promise.

In the journey of the soul, Dante begins his poem, The Inferno.  “In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself, in a dark wood, where the direct way was lost…I cannot rightly say how I entered it. I was so full of sleep, at that point where I abandoned the true way…”

Too often in the early years, the true way is lost.  As early as the late 1980s, Haidt notes the transition from a play-based to a phone-based childhood.  Yes, we cannot rightly say where the direct way was lost, so insidiously it crept up on us — with the full connivence and foreknowledge of the pushers of this addictive electronic drug.

He documents parents and their children lost in cell phone addiction.  Or if the parents seek to guard their kids’ mental health, the battles that too often result, especially around the dinner table.

“Gen Z became the first generation in history to go through puberty with a portal in their pockets that called them away from people nearby and into an alternative universe that was exciting, addictive, unstable, and – as I will show – unsuitable for children and adolescents.”[4]

Too many of today’s teens are “sucked into spending hours and hours each day scrolling through shiny happy posts of friends, acquaintances and distant influencers.”[5]

To find these lost and lonely kids – that must be our mission.  As parents, grandparents and friends.  Every bit as urgent as God, imagined as a desperate woman frantically hunting for a lost coin.  As desperate as God’s prophet Moses, struggling to reclaim his people’s freedom.  As desperate as Dante fearing the true way has been utterly lost.

So, to find these lost and lonely souls?

Haidt says that early, collective action is essential.  We now know the harmful effects of social media.  Far worse than anything that might happen at the Pike.  First of all, we need to become aware of the scope and depth of this danger.  Both parents and their children.

One girl who has come out of electronic addiction recounts:

“What made it so addictive was that I just wanted to fit in with my peers.  I didn’t want to miss anything, because if I missed anything then I was out of the loop, and if I was out of the loop, then kids would laugh at me or make fun of me for not understanding what was going on, and I didn’t want to be left out.”[6]

Your phone is a drug.  Know the danger every bit as you know the danger of heroin, gamboling or alcohol.

Parents, grandparents, early on guide your children and grandchildren into healthy, outdoor activities.  And be there with them.  Little League, outdoor camping trips, trips to museums.  Yes, even the Pike (though it’s since been demolished – even the highest wooden roller coaster on the West Coast – all gone.  So sad. Though I remember being scared spitless the one time I rode it on a dare).

Insist on quality face-to-face time without phones or tablets on.  At dinner time, allot at least one meal for the entire family without electronic intrusions.  Phones off.  Even, especially, for the adults.  Present adults are what these young folks need.  Even though they may protest.

To find the lost and lonely, ever the goal.

Support school districts in their mandates that phones go off during school hours.  The addicted will scream and shout as if you were ripping on their arms or subjecting them to some diabolical torture.  Stay strong and demand your school board has a policy in place.  Lockable pouches for phones. 

Parents need to support each other, stick together.

Engage your children in a faith community or if secular, in a public service community like Sierra Club or in political action against the wayward violations of our Constitution, norms and values.  I can’t tell how many political activists recall how at young ages a parent brought them to political demonstrations.  Also, a wonderful grandparent activity with young ones.  Pack a picnic, make a sign together.  Have fun and meet likeminded people. 

Do some good cooking together.  The fun’s in the making and the delight is in the tasting.  And the hours will fly by in great smells and life-giving conversation.  A reason some cuisines are called “soul food.”

Get a croquet set or toss a baseball with your young one.  They’ll love it and so will you.  Good healthy exercise.  A gym membership together is also a winner.  Soul-making physical exertion.

A family cross-country driving trip to see the splendors of America and our historical heritage.  Visit a national park or a presidential museum.  Visit a college to implant the idea of an educated future.

Use your imagination.  It’s the Spirit’s breeding ground.  And you will find the lost and lonely.  I guarantee it.

To find the lost soul of our nation; for this democracy depends on an educated and engaged citizenry.  Not an addicted populace.

Check out the Center for Humane Technology, an organization created by the former Google ethicist Tristan Harris.  He is offering solutions and laying out initiatives to stem the tide of attention theft.

To find the lost and lonely in this electronic age is every bit as essential as is the Spirit moving through a desperate old lady hunting for her lost coin.  It’s the Gospel mandate.  And in the finding, we together, might find our souls – lost somewhere in the journey of life, we cannot quite recall how or when.

The Gospel mandate is to stay strong, every bit as strong as those Mothers Against Drunk Driving.  Remember, that fake calf is a drug that won’t take you anywhere good.

To find the lost and lonely; and in the seeking we might also find ourselves and discover a smidge of the Glory of God.  Amen.

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[1] “Teenage Angst,” The Economist, August 30, 2025.

[2] Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (New York: Penguin Press, 2024).

[3] Ibid.

[4] Op cit., 6.

[5] Ibid.

[6] Op cit., 222.

September 14, 2025
Pentecost 14, Proper 19
Exodus 32:7-14; Psalm 51:1-11;
1 Timothy 1:12-17; Luke 15:1-10

“To Seek the Lost and Lonely”